Anonymous asked: I feel like you've finally vocalised something that's been bothering me for quite a while. Body positivity seems, to me at least, to be some quant notion for people who are perhaps a little overweight or unhappy with their body, and so go out and buy some nice clothes, from normal stores, to make themselves feel better. And then we have people like myself. I can't go out and randomly buy clothes to make myself feel better because IT'S GOD DAMN HARD TO FIND THINGS THAT FIT.
Also I think people need to understand when fat people talk about finding clothes that fit we don’t mean finding clothes that ‘flatter’ us. We don’t mean pants that are maybe a little too high above the ankles or a shirt that’s a little tight around the bust or something.
Fat people literally mean we have a hard time finding clothes that FIT ON OUR BODIES.
Even stores FOR FUCKING FAT PEOPLE DON’T FIT MANY FAT PEOPLE.
Forever21+ stops at around a size 20/22. And that 22 is a very generous estimation on the off chance they have a really stretchy dress or something that’s supposed to be loose fitting.
Asos Curve stops at a 22. Torrid used to stop at a 24/26 but now they go up to 28. And then if even our own ‘specialty’ stores carry bigger sizes the selections tend to get smaller….and smaller.
And the prices double and sometimes triple from straight size stores. And we know the ‘extra expense to make bigger sizes’ is a bullshit myth/reason/whatever to jack up those prices to much. Let’s also talk about how the plus size departments for a lot of these stores is already only the smallest fraction in clothing they offer to straight sizes, or that you’re highly unlikely to find a plus size department in an actual store, and so you’re forced to shop online and don’t have the privilege of trying on the clothes in person and knowing how it really fits. Color can even be off. There are countless things that make online shopping a shotty and unreliable avenue to purchase your clothings and unfortunately, for many of us, it’s the only one we can really take.
"I feel like you’ve finally vocalised something that’s been bothering me for quite awhile. Body positivity seems, to me at least, to be some quaint notion for people who are perhaps a little overweight or unhappy with their body, and so go out and buy some nice clothes, from normal stores, to make themselves feel better. And then we have people like myself. I can’t go out and randomly buy clothes to make myself feel better because IT’S GOD DAMN HARD TO FIND THINGS THAT FIT."
I understand the sentiment behind this. I do. Well, I think I do. I think you’re sharing the struggle of actually being fat; I think you’re sharing what it’s like to be a very fat woman in a very thin-focused society. You understand the challenge of finding clothes that fit you because the size of your body is larger than designers of clothing have considered. That is a very unique struggle and I can imagine that it is incredibly frustrating and difficult to have to deal with consistently. In fact, no, nix that — I can’t even imagine what that would be like because I have always balanced precariously on that line between too-fat-for-stores-in-the-mall to too-thin-for-plus-sized-stores. But we live in a society that is perpetually shaming ALL women for their size and shape, shaming ALL women for how they choose to celebrate their size and shape, shaming ALL women for how they present their size and shape. This doesn’t evade anyone; all women are targeted. Women who are a little overweight, like me, are not using body positivity as a quaint notion. Women like me have struggled their entire lives with not feeling as if their body is acceptable. Women like me have struggled their entire lives with trying to understand why loved ones would constantly make off the cuff remarks about my appearance and my size. I still carry these comments with me. Every comment, every remark, every statement, every behind-the-hand snicker has bound to me, surrounding my body like the fat that covers it, fusing to my identity and becoming who I am. It doesn’t matter what size I am — whether I am a 220 pound 18-year-old or if I am an active gym-goer or if I stress ate large pizzas for a year and gained thirty pounds or if I dropped dress sizes because of medication/anxiety — I am constantly wrestling with the idea that my body isn’t what it should be. I have had disordered ideas about eating since I was a child; I wrote diary entries when I was nine years old that lauded my self-control when I turned down candies offered to me at Christmas time. I have consistently embarked upon radical dietary changes since I was a late-teenager, insisting these decisions were for the welfare of society or for the betterment of my health, but never, ever admitting that I was doing it because I thought I was fat. I threw up every dinner I ate for all of first year, stopped, and then picked it up again and felt empowered, wonderful, satisfied. While I have since stopped, I still miss that fucking feeling of calm I felt afterward. I am currently a size ten, a size I haven’t truly seen since the ninth grade, and I feel like I am spinning with guilt/glee — guilt because I am very obviously not healthy right now and gleeful because maybe for once in my life I’ll be able to look in a mirror and not feel completely repulsed by my barrel-shaped body and the fat that hangs from my stomach. Body positivity isn’t a quaint notion for me, it’s a fucking necessity. I am a twenty-eight year old woman who has never once in my life liked or appreciated the shell I’m walking around in. Buying clothes has never truly made me feel better; no fucking outfit in the world is going to dress up the shame I have been taught I need to carry around with me. Feeling positive about my body is fleeting and I am hyperaware that is intrinsically tied to how much I weigh. ”I guess this is okay,” is as close as I get to appreciating my body, my stomach, my breasts, my thighs. It is fucking hell to go through life hating how you look, knowing there is nothing inherently wrong with what you are, hearing that you might actually be beautiful but not believing it, understanding the psychology behind why you feel the way you do, having to go out of your way to find representations of women that deviate from the expectation, understanding how pervasive the idea of the “right body” is and how it is so deeply ingrained within your subconscious that you’re not even sure it can be removed. I-I-I… I can’t. It’s bad enough seeing skinny women almost exclusively represented in the media every day, having my weight referenced and judged by my family regularly, holding myself to some unrealistic expectations about how I look… but now I’m being told by fat women that my struggles with physical self-acceptance are quaint, whimsical, laughable! because I can buy a pair of pants from J.Crew? Don’t. Please don’t. You can’t find clothes that fit? Please, then say it as it is. Say that it’s bullshit that clothes isn’t designed to fit everyone. Because that is bullshit. It’s bullshit that people have to go on scavenger hunts or become a seamstress to not be naked. That must be incredibly frustrating. But don’t you fucking dare use that problematic bullshit to deflate the every day struggle of women in this society we’re all attempting to traverse. How in the fuck are we supposed to change our culture’s expectations of women if women are negating the individual struggles of other women?
- me: wow I'm fat
- me: maybe I look ok
- me: I AM PERFECT THE WAY I AM
- me: I'm fucking disgusting I'm losing weight now
- me: I am more than just my weight!
- me: who the fuck cares about anything
- me: I AM SO FAT.
- me: idk curves are beautiful i am beautiful
- me: i hate myself
This plate is the only thing which is allowed to tell me how to live my life..
Welcome to fat burger may I take your order?